This is Me

I am the child who did not know how to be in the world.

I am the child who cried rivers of tears knowing that she saw everything in a different hue, and that she was different too.

I am the child who ate her way into a bubble of protection.

I am the child that wore a sign post saying ‘come over here, I’m an easy target, take a hit and make yourself feel better for a moment’.

I am the teen, who looked at herself in disgust, and punished herself for not being ‘perfect’.

I am the teen, who starved her way to ‘acceptance’.

I am the teen, who abused her body, and tried to exercise it into oblivion.

I am the teen, whose body couldn’t cope, and kept pressing the emergency button hoping that someone would save her.

I am the teen, who thought that anyone who paid attention to her was worthy of her love.

I am the woman, who saw every kind of doctor and healer.

I am the woman, who fell in love and fumbled her way into being a wife and a mother, and is still figuring it all out; perfectly imperfect.

I am the woman, who spent many years exploring her heart, diving into the shadows and baby-stepping toward balance.

I am the woman, who realised that she has avoided being herself her entire life.

I am the woman who is an intuitive.

I am the woman who is a spiritual teacher.

I am the woman who can heal.

I am the woman who is finding her way from the day-to-day to the expanded consciousness that is within, and without, of herself, and of us all.

I am the woman, writing this, at this moment, and taking a step out of the spiritual closet that has always seemed so safe, and is suddenly so insufferable.

This is me, this is who I am.

It’s nice to meet you.

But I wonder. Are you really you?

With love and very deep breaths,
Lauren